Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
