So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
