Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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