Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
