no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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