It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
