Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
