I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
