i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
