Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
