tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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