What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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