this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
