If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
