the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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