so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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