Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
