just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Randomize
