Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Come on in and take your pants off
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