some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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