I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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