there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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