He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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