if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
