The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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