You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
