i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
high people should be assigned attendants
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Im part way to drunk.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize