Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
