Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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