i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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