I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
