hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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