I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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