Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Less talking, more tequila
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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