It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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