break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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