dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
