I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
