Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
