yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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