marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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