you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Dear god my vagina.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
