I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
