the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
