Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
