my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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