Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I didn't notice because vodka
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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