I feel great
I just peed on a car
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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