Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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