she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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