I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
