Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Panties = found
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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