i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
