my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
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What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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