We won't sleep together?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
