Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize