YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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