she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
