I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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