I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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