we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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